I'm a dork again!!! YAYAYAYAY!

Once upon a time in the far away land of Columbus, OH, I had a blog that explained events that would only happen to me. Some of you remember my famous posts such as 'Watch out there's a whale behind you!' and 'Laugh, you know it's funny' where I go into detail about bar fights and land mines. Missed it? Too bad. You should've been my friend then. Loser. Anywho, it got retarded and dorky, so I quit. However, nerds such as Nadia and Josh/Steph have gotten me interested in posting again, because let's be honest, the weird events in my life have NOT stopped. They've only increased. Let us start with a small event that happened to me on my way back from class today. I was dancing along in my car on I-75 N, when a mini van decided to cut me off. Jerk. Anyone who knows me KNOWS I drive 75 mph+ on the highway. Not only that but I tend to sing and dance (and get very into it) while I drive. Anything/anyone who interrupts this, indeed, is not my friend. Die mini van die. So, I do what any normal human being would do immediately push on the gas and get as close to this mini van as I can. This signals to the driver 'Hey, you cut me off. Now I must get as close to you as possible so the chances of you hearing me yell at you are greater.' Well Mr. Minivan must've heard me because he brake checked me. HA! I know that game. I invented the game of brake checking. I PERFECTED it you dummy. I waited until there was a stretch where there were no cars around (read: no cops were there to clock me) and I sped around Mr. Minivan. As I passed him, I got a good look at the joker. Ummm, the word 'gross' came to mind. Dude had weird bangs and a long rat tail in the back. Oh that's right he had a MULLET and he was driving a MINIVAN! Immediately I knew we couldn't be friends. We had too little in common right off the bat. I have a normal hairstyle and he should be ostracized from all humanity. Sounds good to me. Back to the road rage I call driving, I sped up and left him in my dust. Then once I got so far ahead of him I slowly decreased my speed so that it wasn't too obvious of what was coming. Once he got about one or two car lengths behind me he figured out what I was doing so he started switching lanes. BRAKE CHECK! Perfect time. Scared the donkey piss outta him and I got a hearty laugh. Now I know what y'all are thinking ' Gee, Rahea you are soooooo awesome!' I know, I know. But I want to pause here and get to the safety part off all this. When I pull a stunt like this, I make sure that there are no other cars around and that I am paying full attention. If I would've seen that MulletFace wasn't paying attention, no brake check. I love my life a little too much to die in a car accident. Well unless I am in a mind-blowing car chase in my Porsche 911 GT2 then it's balls to the wall. Leave it all out on the blacktop baby!!! I digress, but bottom line: I fool with people when I feel comfortable. Anywho, you could imagine Mr. Business in the Front was not too happy about all this. After he cleaned the crap out of his britches, he sped up beside me, rolled down the window, and spit on my car. I almost threw up. No really, I have a weak stomach. I almost had to pull over and throw up. It was all over my passenger side window. I would've done more but I saw the 'Findlay Next 4 exits' sign and gas is expensive nowadays. Next time Mulletface, next time. Maybe I should chase him with a pair of scissors because that mullet is NOT okay......ever. Moral of the story is: kids don't get drunk and let your friends cut your hair into a mullet. It might increase your chances of running into me on the road.